If the Avengers were a Sitcom
by Cap55
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the Avenger's every day life would be like? The randomness and ridiculousness that might happen everyday? How do Cap and Thor react to tech? What if Clint/Natasha double date with Tony/Pepper? What happens when all the boys go camping? When they play paintball? The target range? The possibilities are endless. Set after Avengers 1, before TWS. Rated T
1. Chapter 1

**If the Avengers were a Sitcom…. Chapter 1**

** Hello everyone! This is my attempt at writing an ongoing series of everyday situations that the Avengers might finds themselves in. These are the moments where there isn't a huge battle where earth hangs in the balance. There might be some minor battles or fights here and there, but mostly this is them just hanging out at home, just living life, and exploring the potentially humorous possibilities that could arise from a group of strange, super hero misfits. **

** If you have requests or ideas, please feel free to message them to me or leave them in a review and I will see if I can put them in. I would love to hear some ideas - no promises that all requests will be used. I will add an author's note to give you credit for the idea if I use it. Right now I do have a list of about 20 or 30 ideas so it might take a little while to get to requests. Also, I don't do slash. Stay tuned for some upcoming stories involving double dates, pet adoptions, paint ball and general funny situations. **

** Side note: Most of my stories have been Steve centered, but this story line will involve all of the characters and will not always be Steve centered…although this first chapter is. But I promise there will be stories that focus more on the other great characters in the Avengers! **

_Shoot, __why is that button blinking? _Steve thinks to himself as he cautiously approaches the strange machine. _Oh man, this thing is going to blow. _

"Alight, Buddy," Steve glares. "It's just you and me. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way. It's entirely up to you, Pal."

Steve takes a step back and grabs his shield, holding it up defensively as he slowly reaches our his hand to press the flashing button on the contraption in front of him. The machine starts to sputter and steam and Steve ducks behind his shield as hot, brown liquid erupts from the machine.

"Not again," he groans as he lowers his shield and looks around the kitchen. "Stupid, modern piece of crap," he grumbles as he opens up the Keurig coffee maker and pulls the wasted cup out of the pocket.

Once the Battle of New York ended, all of the Avengers had gone their separate ways, but one by one each of them eventually returned to New York. More specifically, they returned to Stark Tower. None of them really had a home to come back to. Clint and Natasha had their quarters on the SHIELD Helicarrier, but those 'homes' really added up to a bed and a bathroom. SHIELD was not exactly known for their five-star accommodations. Like Clint and Natasha, Steve had been assigned a temporary apartment to live in, but it wasn't much better than the quarters on the Helicarrier. It was basically a lonely box with a bed, bathroom, and kitchen. Thor wasn't even from this world and had no where to live and no real friends or family save for Jane, Darcy, and Erik, but they were all out in the field doing research. Bruce hadn't lived in the continental US for years with his international travel and humanitarian work. All of the Avengers were basically nomads, never putting down roots or settling down, always wandering on to the next mission, the next realm, the next hiding place.

With Avengers showing up on his doorstep, Tony opened up his home to them and told them to stay as long as they wanted. In fact, he had insisted that they all come and live at the Tower. Even with all the damage done to the city, the Tower had escaped relatively unscathed, save for the top few floors. They protested at first, but Tony could be very persuasive.

Today is the first day Steve has stayed overnight in the tower. As usual, he's up early. Very early. The sun hasn't even risen yet, but Steve had already returned from his morning run and he was trying to figure out all of the very modern appliances in Tony's kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.

Tony's kitchen is beautiful and everything is top of the line. The dark wood cabinets are perfectly matched with the expensive granite counter tops and the tiles on the backsplash are a mix of earthy greens, tans, and oranges. The kitchen is open to the living area with a long breakfast bar separating the two rooms. The bar is attached to a large kitchen counter with a stove top and a big kitchen island behind that. The back wall holds a wall of cabinets with a long counter top and a big sink and fridge. It's a chef's dream kitchen, but Steve is struggling with it.

"What the heck is wrong with this thing? There's only one button. This shouldn't be this hard," Steve frowns as he wipes up another failed attempt to work the Keurig. Normally, Captan America doesn't give up, but he doesn't want to waste any more coffee or make a bigger mess, so he moves on and settles for a glass of orange juice. He searches the cabinets for a glass and checks the fridge for juice. To his dismay, he finds another machine in the fridge. It's a silver box that takes up the entire top shelf of the fridge. Another one of Tony's ridiculous gadgets. It has a spout and some pictures of different drinks on it.

"Geez, can Stark not even pour a glass of juice without a machine?" Steve shakes his head. He finds one option that looks like it might be juice and holds his cup under the spout. The button lights up and orange juice comes flowing out of the spout. Steve huffs with a smirk, proud of finally succeeding in working something in the kitchen. His smile soon fades when his cup is full, but the machine isn't stopping. Steve quickly hits the button again to get it to stop, but it's still dispensing juice as it flows over the rim of the glass and onto the floor.

"Crap," Steve mutters as he slips in the orange juice puddle before he runs over to the cupboards to search for more containers. He grabs an arm full of glasses and runs back to the orange juice waterfall and fills cup after cup.

"Seriously? You've still got more to give?" Steve shouts in disbelief and frantically rushes over to the cabinets again and grabs whatever he can find to catch the juice. He throws a couple cereal bowls under the spout, followed by some tupperware, a mixing bowl, and a few wine glasses. In a move of final desperation, he grabs his shield that is still covered in coffee from the last tech disaster, and starts to collect juice in it. His shield is half full when the machine finally stops. "Finally," Steve sighs and sinks to the floor against the wall.

"So much for not making a bigger mess," Steve says to himself as he looks around. The center island is covered in various containers and his shield, all filled with orange juice.

After he cleans up the sticky mess on the floor he moves onto trying to make eggs. Stoves couldn't have changed that much since his time, right? Steve cautiously approaches the stove top on the front counter. He finds a pan and places it on top of one of the circles on the shiny, black surface. He turns the knob on the stove and waits for a flame to light. He removes the pan and frowns when he only sees the black surface and no flame. He checks the knob again before cautiously touching the little circle the pan was sitting on top of.

"Feels warm," Steve puts the pan back on the stove. "Not warm enough to cook an egg, though." He flips the knob all the way up and walks over to the fridge to grab eggs. To his relief, the eggs are in a carton. At least some thing hasn't changed since he's been gone. He grabs the eggs and cracks them into the pan before adding some chopped up peppers and some bacon.

While his eggs cook, he decides to give the microwave a shot. Steve just really wants something warm to drink with his breakfast and he grabs a mug and some tea. He presses a few buttons until he happens to press the one to open the door. The little door springs open and Steve sets his cup into the machine. He closes it and starts hitting buttons to see if he can get it to start.

Thor walks in, still half asleep, but freezes in his tracks when he sees the mess in the kitchen.

"Was there a battle? Are you injured, Captain?" Thor rushes into the kitchen.

"No, I'm fine, Thor. Just a little breakfast trouble. Do you have any idea how to work this thing?" Steve asks as he starts to hit the blasted machine.

"Nay. I am afraid not. The small wave machine is still one of the many pieces of technology that still rebels against me." Thor frowns as he walks over to the cupboard.

"I think it's called a 'microwave," Steve smirks and continues to push buttons with no luck.

"Hmm," Thor hums. "Between the two of us I think we shall be able to conquer the kitchen and make ourselves a hearty breakfast." Thor starts shuffling through the cupboard. "What are these?" Thor holds up a blue box.

"Um, the box says 'Pop Tarts," Steve frowns at the container. "They look….strange."

"Hm, Popped Tarts," Thor pulls out one of the silver pouches, intrigued, while Steve reads the side of the box.

"It says you're supposed to toast it," Steve points to the toaster on the counter.

"How do I toast the Popped Tart?" Thor asks with a confused look on his face.

Lucky for you, toasters were around back in my day," Steve shows Thor how to put the breakfast treat into the toaster. "Now you just have to wait."

Steve returns to his microwave while Thor watches the toaster closely. "Got it!" Steve smiles when the microwave finally starts. As he stands, he realizes the room is filling with smoke. "Shoot! The eggs!" Steve rushes over to the stove and grabs the eggs off of the stove and throws them into the sink to run water over them. The smoke alarm starts to blare when the microwave starts to smoke and spark. "Seriously?" Steve shouts and runs over to the sparking appliance. He's about to open the door when the machine pops and starts on fire.

"That's not good," Steve raises a brow a the burning microwave.

Thor is watching the chaos when his pop tarts shoot out of the toaster.

"Odin's Beard!" He shouts, startled by the sudden noise and movement, he grabs Mjolnir from his side and shoots lightning at the toaster. The attack causes a small burst of electricity that sends Thor stumbling back and Steve grabs his shield off the counter to block a bolt that flies toward him, spilling the orange juice it was holding onto him and the floor. The two Avengers stand in silence in the mess they've made while the smoke alarm continues to sound.

"At least it can't get any worse," Steve sighs.

"Verily," Thor replies just before the sprinkler system turns on in the kitchen.

"Now that's just unfortunate," Steve looks at Thor as the two of them get soaked by the sprinklers.

"What's happening?" Bruce asks as he stumbles into the living area.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Tony shouts as he and the rest of the Avengers run into the kitchen. "Are you trying to burn down the tower?"

"What's on fire?" Clint shouts, still half in a sleepy daze, as he runs in with a fire extinguisher, accidentally firing it into the air.

"Nothing," Natasha grabs the extinguisher out of the Archer's hands. "Cap and Thor were just cooking."

"Oh," Clint deadpans.

"The toaster is most startling," Thor says sadly as his Pop Tart turns to mush in the water raining down from the sprinklers.

"Sorry Tony," Steve frowns. His face is covered in soot and drenched from the sprinklers. "We were trying to make breakfast. We'll clean it up."

"Why didn't you ask JARVIS to help you?" Tony asks as he rubs a hand across his eyes, still half asleep after rushing out of bed at the sound of the alarm.

"Who's JARVIS?" Steve looks at Tony sideways.

"JARVIS!" Tony shouts and looks at the ceiling. Steve and Thor search the ceiling to see who Tony is talking to. "Why didn't you say anything when these two fossils were trying to figure out the appliances?"

"I'm sorry Sir," the AI answers and both Thor and Steve jump, startled by the voice coming out of nowhere. "But you instructed me not to engage Thor or Captain Rogers until you had a chance to introduce us. I believe you said that I might, quote "freak the crap out of them."

"Where is this JARVIS?" Thor looks around the room suspiciously.

"He's a computer program. His name is JARVIS," Tony tries to explain.

"But where is he?" Thor asks again - still confused.

"He's everywhere in the Tower, Thor."

"Astounding," Thor whispers in wonder. "Greetings, Omnipotent Ceiling Man. I am Thor." The demi-god shouts to the ceiling and Tony face palms himself.

"What happened with this?" Tony points to the microwave.

"It just…kind of….blew up," Steve answers, confused on what he could have possibly down to make the device react so violently. Tony walks over and studies the machine and pulls out a spoon from the charred pile of microwave.

"You can't put metal in a microwave, Steve." Tony sighs.

"What? This little spoon is why that thing blew up?" Steve grabs the spoon and holds it up in disbelief.

"The microwave uses a magnetron that is hooked up to a high voltage source. The magnetron directs microwaves into the machine to heat food, but when microwaves hit metal, free electrons on the surface of the metal end up moving from side to side very quickly causing arching of electricity and….." Tony pauses when he looks up and sees Thor and Steve staring at him like he's speaking Japanese. "Metal makes microwave go boom," Tony frowns. "No metal in microwave."

"We're not monkeys, Stark," Steve raises a brow.

"Today you are monkeys. No more cooking, Steve!" Tony points at the man. Steve frowns and turns to help Thor clean up the disaster in the kitchen.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

The next morning, Steve is up early again. After his morning run he returns to the kitchen and looks at the appliances. "No more cooking, Steve," echoes through his mind as he raids the cabinets.

"JARVIS?" Steve asks, feeling a little silly talking to air as he looks up at the ceiling.

"Yes, Captain Rogers?"

"How would you like to help me show Tony up?"

"It would be my pleasure, Captain," The AI answers.

"Alright, first things first: The Coffee Maker. It kept exploding yesterday. What am I doing wrong?"

"I believe you may be over filling the machine, Captain. Add approximately 1 and a half cups of water into the machine and press the brew button." Steve does as the AI instructs and before he knows it, he has a perfectly brewed cup of coffee in his hand.

"Perfect. Alright, next is the stove. Where is the flame and how did it burn my food so fast yesterday?"

"The stove is an induction stove top. It uses heats up much more quickly than a gas or electric stove. Turn the knob 1/4 of the way to cook eggs at an acceptable rate." Steve cracks a carton of eggs and pours them into the pan with some salt and pepper and some onions. He adds another pan to the stove top and makes some pancakes when Thor wanders into the kitchen.

"Greetings, Captian," Thor yawns. "What are you doing?" He freezes again when he sees Steve in the kitchen. "Stark said no cooking."

"I know he said no cooking, but we can do this, Thor," Steve pours another set of pancakes into the pan. "Do you want this kitchen to beat you? For Stark to be right?"

"Nay," Thor frowns. "No kitchen shall defeat the Son of Odin!" Thor walks into the kitchen and grabs the toaster out of the cupboard and snatches the box of blueberry pop tarts off of the shelf.

"That's the spirit!" Steve smiles and walks over to the fridge. "Alright, JARVIS, tell me what I did wrong with the juice."

"Set the switch on the side to 12oz and press the button," JARVIS instructs. Steve finds the switch and changes it from 5 liters to 12oz and presses the button, filling a few glasses perfectly.

"Why in the world does Tony need this thing?" Steve asks JARVIS. "Why doesn't he just keep his juice in a pitcher like normal people?"

"Mr. Stark is not, for better or worse, normal. He says he finds pouring from a pitcher exhausting and purchased the drink dispenser instead."

"Hm, sounds like Tony," Steve shrugs. "Alright, last one: Microwave," Steve frowns at the new microwave Tony installed yesterday evening. He places a bottle of syrup in the machine.

"Captain, pop the top off of the bottle to prevent pressure from building inside the container," Jarvis warns.

"Thanks JARVIS," Steve smiles and opens the top of the bottle before following JARVIS' instructions on how to set the timer and start the microwave.

"Behold!" Thor shouts in triumph when his pop tarts pop out of the toaster. "Popped Tarts!"

The Avengers eventually all emerge from their rooms when the aroma of eggs and pancakes pulls them from their beds. One by one they make their way to the kitchen where Steve and Thor are waiting for them.

"Oooh, Pancakes!" Clint smiles and pulls up a chair at the breakfast bar.

"Hungry for some breakfast?" Steve smirks at Tony when he walks in.

"I thought I told you to stay out of the kitchen." Tony mumbles.

"You did." Steve is still smirking.

"What did you break?" Tony sighs.

"We didn't break a single thing," Steve answers proudly. Tony looks at the food suspiciously.

You didn't make this," Tony stares at the perfect pancakes and the fluffy eggs.

"I didn't," Steve answers. "We did." Thor walks up with his platter full of Pop Tarts he heated in the toaster.

"You ordered this in," Tony leans forward with his elbows resting on the breakfast bar.

"I don't know how to use your phone," Steve matches his movement by leaning on the kitchen counter in front of Tony.

"You used the internet."

"What the heck is the internet?"

"How did you do this?" Tony looks at Steve suspiciously.

"I'm not going to lie. We had some help."

"I knew it," Tony leans back. "Pepper helped you, didn't she?"

"Pepper is gone on business. We used JARVIS," Steve smiles.

"JARVIS?" Tony deadpans.

"Yes, the Ceiling Man was most helpful," Thor smiles and shoves a Pop Tart in his mouth.

"Give them a little credit, Tony," Bruce grins and piles a few pancakes onto his plate.

"Alright," Tony holds his hands up. "I'll admit that you guys impressed me. You figured out advanced kitchen technology by using JARVIS and, for you two old timers, that's not to shabby."

"Is that a complement from the great Tony Stark?" Natasha smirks from her chair as she takes a bite of pancake.

"A small one, but they earned it," Tony shovels some eggs onto a plate and leans on the counter. "These eggs are great. You can make breakfast everyday, Cap."


	2. Chapter 2

**What if the Avengers were a Sitcom…..Chapter 2**

Tony, Pepper, Clint and Natasha are walking down the street after finishing dinner at a fancy restaurant Tony had gotten them reservations to. The evening was pleasant and relaxing until Tony, as usual, said something stupid.

"What?" Tony shouts and shrugs his shoulders innocently when Pepper shoots him a frustrated look. "I'm not saying you stink at baseball. All I'm saying is that winning is more important to me than it is to you. You're just not competitive and that's why we lost the ball game at the company picnic last year."

"So you are saying it was all my fault we lost the game?" Pepper stops walking and stares at Tony and he knows his life hinges on how he answers the question.

"I am saying…." he pauses and chooses his next words carefully. "That…..we lost…..because…..you're too nice…to pound the other team….into the ground…."

Tony instantly knows he answered wrong when Pepper rolls her eyes at him and stomps past him. "Pepper!"

"Just stop talking, Stark. You're only digging yourself a deeper hole," Natasha smirks and walks past the confused Inventor.

"What did I say wrong?" Tony looks to Clint for answers. "What could have possibly been taken as insulting in that response?"

"Don't try to figure them out, Stark," Clint elbows him in the arm. "You just can never know what's going on in their heads."

"My dad always said 'the moment you think you know what is going on in a woman's head is the moment your goose is well and truly cooked,'" Tony huffs. "I'm beginning to see his point."

"I hear ya," Clint laughs.

"Why are you laughing at that?" Natasha spins on her heel and stares the befuddled Archer down. "Do you agree with what he just said?" Natasha jabs her thumb toward Tony.

"What? No…I…" Clint stutters.

"What, do you think that the problem is that women are over sensitive, nit-pickers who's sole purpose in life is to make you miserable?" Natasha interrupts Clint. "Did you ever stop and think that it's not the women? Maybe it's men like you who do and say stupid things like that last comment that are the problem?"

"Um…I…" Clint stutters again.

"Not even Steve thinks like that and he was actually alive when that kind of thinking was normal," Natasha scoffs and stomps away with Pepper.

"Dude, it wasn't enough that you were in the dog house - you had to bring me down with you?" Clint frowns at Tony who just shrugs unsympathetically and follows after the girls.

Once they arrive back at the Tower they walk through the lobby and ride the elevator up in painful silence. The girls are standing together on one side of the elevator while the boys stand together on the opposite side, no one saying a single word, as the quiet elevator music plays overhead. Tony turns to Pepper and opens his mouth to speak when she quickly turns to face him and shoves her finger in his face.

"You know what? Natasha and I could beat you and Clint at anything. Isn't that right, Natasha?" Pepper turns to Natasha and she raises her brow and nods intimidatingly. "In fact, we challenge you to a game of charades."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tony holds up his hands. "Pepper, you know I am the king of charades. Don't you want to pick something you have a chance at winning?"

"Shut up, Stark," Clint mumbles from the corner of the elevator - the furthest point from the angry girls in the tiny elevator.

"What? They're already mad at us, Clint. We might as well accept it. We can totally beat these girls. We're not afraid of them. We're grown men, damn it," Tony stands tall and faces off with Pepper who crosses her arms and refuses to back down.

"What's the matter, Clint?" Natasha smirks and comes along side Pepper, matching her stance and crossing her arms. "Scared of a couple of girls kicking your butt?"

"No," Clint stands tall with Tony. "Tony and I can take you both on. We're a united front." Tony nods in agreement as the two men fist bump each other in a show of solidarity.

"United front, huh?" Natasha smiles deviously to Pepper. "We'll see."

Tony and Clint share concerned glances with one another before the two couples walk off the elevator and into the empty living area of the penthouse. Bruce is down in his lab working on some projects, Thor is off-world for a little while, and Steve is down in the gym.

The girls sit on the couch next to Clint and Tony stands in front of them.

"Alright, girls," Tony shakes his arms out and cracks his neck in showy preparation for the game. "Who's going first?"

"Rock, paper, scissors decides it," Clint points to Pepper and Tony. Pepper walks over to Tony and they face off.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" they both chant in unison. Pepper throws paper while Tony throws scissors.

"Oh! My scissor cuts your paper just like my skills shall cut down your lofty ambitions of beating me," Tony pretends to snip Pepper's paper with his scissors and she frowns at him.

"Just pick your first clue," Natasha throws Tony's phone at him and he opens the Charades app.

"Alright, here we go," Tony sets the phone down after getting his word and faces Clint.

"It's a song," Clint nods when Tony holds his hands up to his mouth. "Five words. First word," Clint nods as Tony signals him.

Tony nods in agreement before his bows his head and takes a dramatic deep breath and the girls look at each other and roll their eyes at the Billionaire. Tony points to Pepper.

"Pepper? Girl? Woman? Her? She? She," Clint starts spouting off guesses until Tony nods at the word 'she'. "Alright, second word," Clint nods in understanding when Tony holds up two fingers. Clint is confused when Tony starts walking around the room with his eyes closed and runs into the wall and the coffee table.

"Um….uh…." Clint snaps his fingers, "blind! She's blind?" Clint puts the words together and looks confused. Tony thinks for a second and then holds up five fingers to signal Clint that this is the fifth word.

"Running out of time, Stark," Natasha warns.

Tony frantically points to his arc reactor.

"Your arc reactor? Tech? Inventions?" Clint rapid fires guesses, but Tony shakes his head. He points at Pepper. "She," Clint repeats the words he knows Tony wants him to say. Tony walks over to the lamp and shines it in his face and walks around, running into things. "Blind. Blinded" Tony nods and points to his arc reactor frantically.

"Ten seconds," Pepper smirks as she counts down on her watch.

"She. Blinded. Arc reactor…." Clint scratches his head before he jumps off the couch and points at Tony. "She's blinded me with Science!"

"Yes!" Tony and Clint jump up and down while high-fiving. "Beat that, Ladies!" Tony shouts.

"Alright, Natasha," Pepper stands and picks up Tony's phone to get their clue. "Ready?"

"Hit me," Natasha nods.

"TV show," Natasha answers when Pepper holds up her fingers in the shape of a rectangle and nods. "Two words. First word."

Pepper holds her hand out in front of her like she's holding something and raises her other hand in the air. "Pouring? Pouring into a glass? Filling a glass?" Natasha guesses, but Pepper shakes her head. She pauses to think for a moment before moving her hand to her mouth and chewing. "Eating? Chewing?" Pepper leans back and pats her stomach with her hand. "Full!" Natasha shouts and Pepper nods enthusiastically.

"Alright, second word," Natasha leans forward onto her elbows when Pepper takes her fingers and outlines a shape. "Triangle?" Natasha frowns. Pepper outlines another shape under the triangle. "Square? Triangle and a square?" Natasha stares at Pepper as she tries to put the clues together. "Oh! Full House!" She shouts.

"Yeah!" Pepper laughs and the two girls high five proudly. "In your face, boys!"

"Whatever," Tony huffs. "She's Blinded me with Science' was way harder."

"She's Blinded me with Science was way harder," Pepper repeats in a whiney voice and a mischievous smile on her face.

"Don't mock me, woman," Tony frowns and Pepper and Natasha both laugh. "You're up, Legolas." Clint stands and catches the phone that Tony tosses to him.

"Really?" Clint raises his brow and sighs at the clue that comes up on the phone. He tosses the phone to the table and holds his hands in front of him with an exasperated look on his face.

"It's a book!" Tony points and Clint nods. "Two words. First word." Clint squats on the floor and pulls his arms in tight. "Squatting. Popping a squat. Pooping. Constipated." Tony rapid fires guesses.

"Constipated? Really?" Clint shouts.

"Hey! No talking, Cheater McCeaterson!" Natasha points at him.

Clint sighs and shakes his head and holds up two fingers to signal Tony to move onto the second word. Tony tips his head sideways and frowns when Clint suddenly starts strutting around the room with his hands on his hips. "Mic Jagger? The Rooster Strut? Moves like Jagger?" Clint face-palms and holds his hands out in front of him, signaling Tony to remember that this is a book.

"It's a book. Right. Right," Tony nods.

Clint walks closer to Tony and flutters his eyes at him with a goofy grin. "Eye twitching? Creepy?" Tony leans away from Clint with a concerned look on his face.

"Ten seconds," Natasha warns.

Clint motions his hand in an hour glass shape and pops his butt out and puts his hand on his hip and flutters his eyes at Tony again while the girls just laugh in amusement.

"I almost don't even want to call time," Natasha laughs.

"What the hell was that?" Tony shouts.

"Little!" Clint squats down to the floor like he had before. "Women!" He sticks his hand on his hip and pops his butt out again. "Little Women! What book is called 'Moves like Jagger" or "Popping a Squat?"

"What kind of woman stands like that?" Tony imitates Clint's suggestive stance. Clint shoots him a look and is about to answer when Tony interrupts him. "Never mind. Don't answer that."

"Little Women!" Clint yells again at Tony in frustration.

"Look, don't get mad at me that you suck at being a woman," Tony shoots back. "Focus, Barton. We're a united front, remember?"

"Okay, boys," Pepper wipes away a tear from her eye from laughing so hard and hands Natasha the phone. "Don't get all upset that we're kicking your butts," Pepper stands and pops her butt out like Clint had and the two girls laugh. Clint flops down on the couch, obviously still annoyed Tony didn't guess his clue.

"You're not kicking our butts," Tony scoffs. "We're tied at 1 to 1. Clint and I can still beat you."

"Oh yeah?" Natasha crosses her arms. "Let's add some insult to injury, Pepper."

"What do you have in mind," Pepper puts her hands on her hips and stands next to Natasha.

"I bet that I can get Pepper to guess this next clue in less than twenty seconds. If she guesses correctly, we automatically win and you two have to strut your stuff through the Tower tomorrow at breakfast in front of everyone in whatever Pepper and I want to dress you in."

"Think about this, Tony," Clint warns.

"And if you lose?" Tony asks cautiously, ignoring Clint.

"We will strut our stuff in front of you in whatever you decide, or don't decide, to dress us in." Natasha and Pepper both smirk at the two boys.

"Deal," both of the boys answer simultaneously. Pepper and Natasha shoot a look at each other and roll their eyes at how easy it was to talk them into the bet. Pepper sits as Natasha starts.

"Movie," Pepper nods at Natasha's hand motion. "Four words."

"Four words?!" Clint and Tony laugh, confident they just won the bet.

Natasha ignores them and focuses on Pepper. She kneels on the floor and folds her hands. "Praying. Thor. God. Jesus. Lord," Pepper lists off as fast as she can and Natasha nods at 'Lord."

"First word is Lord." Pepper nods. "Fifth word." Natasha holds up her left hand and points to her finger. "Ring! Lord of the Rings!"

"She got it!" Natasha high-fives her.

"How many seconds was that, Clint?" Tony asks as he lets his head drop and leans his elbows on his knees.

"You don't want to know," Clint sighs and falls back into the couch.

"Oh boys," Natasha laughs. "This is going to be so much fun."

"Alright, alright," Tony holds his hands up. "You had your fun. You win the game."

"We win the _bet_," Pepper corrects.

"No, it was just a silly little bet," Tony shakes his head as he tries to figure out a way to get out of the punishment.

"No, it was not just a silly little bet," Pepper smiles deviously. "Come on, Natasha. Lets go through our closets and pick the boys out something real nice and pretty."

"Whoa, no one ever said anything about wearing girl clothes," Clint stands nervously.

"We agreed on 'whatever we want to dress you in.'" Natasha laughs. "What did you think we meant by that?"

"Aren't you so glad that I'm not nice and I showed you that I can be competitive and pound the other team into the ground, Sweetie," Pepper smirks and pats Tony on the face. "We're totally going to win the ball game at the next company picnic."

"I am never playing on a team with you again, Stark," Clint sits on the couch and runs his hands through his hair in frustration.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO **

The next morning comes and Steve is siting at the table with a cup of coffee and his newspaper while Thor is sitting next to him eating his new favorite breakfast of blueberry Pop Tarts. Bruce is on the other side of him on his laptop, finishing out equations from his experiments from the night before. Pepper and Natasha briskly walk into the kitchen with smiles on their faces and a boom box in hand.

"You two look awfully chipper this morning," Steve glances up from his newspaper and takes a sip of his coffee.

"Oh, we are," Pepper smiles.

The two ladies position themselves at the breakfast bar and press play on the radio. Up beat music with a heavy bass beat plays when Tony and Clint come strutting into the living area and strike a pose. Steve chokes on his coffee and Thor drops his Pop Tart to the table, frozen where he sits and his mouth hanging open. Bruce stops typing and just stares in shock.

Clint is wearing a pair of jeans that have been cut off into short shorts and says 'juicy' on the butt. His shirt is one of Natasha's crop tops that is waaaayyy to small for him and a feather boa is wrapped around his neck. A pair of white heeled boots and a pair of pink sunglasses finish off his look.

Tony is next to him with a floor length, sequin, black gown with a slit in the skirt up to his thigh. The thin straps and sweetheart neckline look awkward over his shoulders and chest, but he does have a very nice diamond necklace around his neck and a lovely set of black heels.

After the two men finish posing they strut around the breakfast table and do one final pose before strutting back into the rooms they came from. The girls are both losing it in the kitchen while the rest of the Avengers all sit in stunned silence at the table.

"Does that normally happen around here?" Steve shoots a worried glance to Bruce and Thor does the same, neither one of them sure of what just happened.

"No." Bruce quickly shakes his head. "No, that is definitely something I have never seen before, but, oddly enough, it doesn't surprise me."

"What does this word, "juicy" mean and why is it adorned on Barton's pants?" Thor frowns. Bruce shudders a little and holds his hand up and shakes his head again and Thor gets the message.

Steve blinks a few times, trying in vain to erase what he just saw from his memory, before going back to his newspaper. Thor picks up his Pop Tart again, frowning and starring off into space while he looks thoroughly traumatized and Bruce goes back to his work. Pepper and Natasha just smile from the kitchen and high-five each other, proud of what they just pulled off.


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry about not posting for a long time guys! My job has upped my hours to a slightly insane level and I haven't had much time to write. I wanted to get this up around Thanksgiving, but that didn't happen - obviously :) But, better late than never, here is the Avenger's Thanksgiving celebration! **

**If the Avengers were a Sitcom….Chapter 3**

"You know what's coming up in a couple days, right?" Tony asks from the kitchen where he is brewing a fresh cup of coffee.

"Thursday?" Clint answers sarcastically from the living area as he furiously presses buttons on the Xbox controller.

"No, smart-ass," Tony huffs. "It's Thanksgiving. We've got to have Thanksgiving dinner. It's our first year in the Tower together."

"Thanksgiving dinner?" Thor pulls his attention from the television at the mention of 'dinner.' "What is this Dinner of Thanks?"

"_Thanksgiving dinner_ Thor. You know, Pilgrims, Indians, turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing. It's a national holiday surrounded around being thankful and shoving food in your face."

"This dinner sounds delicious," Thor smiles. "I have never celebrated this holiday before."

"Me neither," Clint adds, never taking his eyes off the television screen as leans to the side as if it will help his car on the video game turn tighter.

"What?" Tony shouts and spins around to face the Archer.

"I haven't either," Natasha sounds from the corner of the room as she turns a page in her book.

"What the heck, guys?" Tony is shocked. "Bruce?"

"Not really," Bruce shrugs while he works on his laptop at the kitchen table.

"Steve," Tony turns to the man sitting on the couch. "Please tell me the all-American-man-with-the-plan has had a proper Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Nope. Sorry, Tony," Steve answers from the couch from behind his newspaper.

"What is wrong with all of you?" Tony asks, dumbfounded.

"No Thanksgiving dinners in an orphanage," Clint answers.

"No Thanksgiving dinners in the KGB," Natasha adds. "Not really a Russian holiday."

"No Thanksgiving on Asgard," Thor frowns. "Although from the sounds of it, it is a tradition we must start soon!"

"No Thanksgiving with all the traveling we did when I was a kid," Bruce shakes his head.

"No Thanksgiving in the Depression," Steve adds. "We couldn't afford regular food, let alone Thanksgiving dinner."

"You're all tragic," Tony stands and shakes his head in front of them in disbelief. "We've got to fix this. I'm out of town until Thursday morning, but we are having Thanksgiving dinner together this year. Make sure you're all here on Thursday at 10am. We're going to watch the parade and make dinner together and have a proper Thanksgiving.

"We're going to make dinner?" Bruce laughs. "You do realize none of us know how to cook, right?"

"I know how to cook," Steve pokes his head out from the newspaper.

"But you don't know how to use the appliances," Tony points out.

"I figured most of them out," Steve frowns. "Give me a little credit."

"You started the oven on fire yesterday. Again," Tony points to the scorched stove behind him.

"Yeah, the oven is still giving me some trouble, but I figured out the blender today," Steve raises up his smoothie from the side table next to him.

"How about this: I'll supervise while you cook. That way I won't have to replace anymore appliances," Tony smirks and Steve simply shrugs. "Alright, it's decided then. The first annual Avengers Thanksgiving Dinner is officially set!"

"Yes!" Thor roars and raises his hammer in the air, thoroughly excited for the holiday.

*****The Following Day*** **

_Hm, I got the potatoes, turkey, cranberries, garlic, apples…" _Steve mentally ticks off his Thanksgiving Day grocery list as he walks down the street with an arm full of grocery bags, but he stops in his tracks when he hears some kids yelling and throwing rocks at something down the alleyway. _"What's going on down there?" _

Steve cautiously walks down the alley toward the group of kids and he immediately goes into action when he sees what they're up to.

"Hey! Break it up fellas!" Steve yells and the kids freeze, startled by Steve running up to them. They scatter and run for it. As the kids run away down the other end of the alley Steve finds the target they were picking on. "Bunch of bullies," Steve frowns and kneels on the ground to hold out his hand as a sniffing nose pokes out from behind the dumpster. A scared, dirty dog peeks at him from the safety of the dumpster, but he doesn't dare come out.

"Hm, too scared to come out, huh, Fella?" Steve sighs and digs through the grocery bag. He pulls out a bag of bread and breaks it open. The dog perks up at the smell and Steve and throws the hungry mutt a piece. The dog is obviously hungry enough to come out far enough to grab the bread, but never takes his gaze off of Steve. "There you go, Buddy." Steve deicides to push his luck and holds out another piece of bread and, after sizing Steve up, the dog dares to come and take it from him. He sits in front of him and munches on the food offering and Steve reaches out to pet him and the two are officially buddies.

"See? I'm not so bad," Steve smiles and looks over the dog. There's no collar and no tags. He's on the small side - about 30 or 40 pounds - and looks like he might be some sort of Australian Shepherd mix. His matted fur is brown and grey with a white chest, muzzle, and feet. His ears are floppy and has a tail that's long and fluffy and his eyes are a bright blue. "What do you think, Bud? Want to see if we can find your family?"

Steve stands and the dog follows him down the alley and down the street. On the way, Steve looks for anyone who might be searching for their dog and asks people he passes if they recognize the lost pooch. No one seems to know where the dog has come from or they simply don't care. Everyone is stressed and running in their holiday rush.

The pair make it back to the Tower and ride up to the penthouse in the elevator. Steve deposits the grocery bags in the kitchen and turns around to check out his new fuzzy friend. "You are a little dirty," Steve frowns when he sees the paw prints left on the expensive, marble kitchen floor. He picks up the dog and walks into the bathroom and fills the tub. The dog gives him a sad look and sits as far away from the tub as he can get. "Sorry, Pal. I've got to clean you up." Steve picks him up and pops him into the bubble filled tub and starts to scrub away the dirt and grime. After rinsing the dog off, the pooch has had enough and shakes as much of the water off as he can. Steve raises up his arm to block the spray of water from hitting his face, but by the time he's done shaking Steve is soaked and the bathroom is a mess.

"I suppose that was only fair," Steve laughs and drains the brown bath water and turns to start to dry off himself and the dog. Once dry, the dog is quite happy and bounces around the living area. Steve grabs him a bowl filled with water and sits on the floor to pet him. "You need a name, Fella. How about Rover?" The dog sneezes and shakes his head as if insulted by the name. "Maybe not."

The dog sits in front of Steve and tips his head to the side and looks at him inquisitively. "You've got some beautiful, blue eyes. How about we name you after Ol' Blue Eyes himself and call you Frank?" The dog wags his tail and shoves his muzzle under Steve's hand to encourage him to pet him. "Alright," Steve laughs. "Frank it is."

"Hey Cap," Clint greets when he walks into the room and heads straight to the fridge.

"Hey Clint," Steve answers back from the floor next to Frank. "What's up?"

"What isn't up? I just back back from a mission for SHIELD, Natasha wants to go see a movie tonight which means that I have to shower, Tony wants me to test a new bow while he's gone, and to top it all off I am starving and there's nothing to eat," Clint rattles off as he shuts the fridge door. "What is that?"

Clint stops talking and stands in shock when he turns around to see Steve sitting on the floor with this unfamiliar dog.

"Clint, meet Frank."

"Frank?"

"Frank."

"What's a Frank?

"_Who_ is Frank."

"Fine. _Who_ is Frank?

"This is Frank. I found him after a bunch of kids were picking on him."

"Let me get this straight. You found a mutt on the street being picked on by some kids and you saved him and brought him back to the Tower. Tony's tower. And destroyed the bathroom," Clint raises a brow as he shifts to the side to look past Steve and into the messy bathroom.

"Yeah. I found him on my way home from the store today. You think Tony will let me keep him?"

"Uh, no. Tony hates animals."

"How can you hate animals?"

"Well, he doesn't hate animals. He just hates animals in his house."

"Oh," Steve's expression visibly drops as he runs his hands through Frank's soft fur.

"But you know," Clint sighs and leans on the counter. "What Tony doesn't know can't hurt him."

"You mean, don't tell Tony about Frank?"

"Sure. It's a big Tower. Shouldn't be too hard," Clint shrugs as the dog runs past him.

"Alright. I'lll just make sure that there's no way Tony can find out about Frank until I can figure out what to do with him," Steve nods in agreement. "Frank! No! Bad dog!" Steve yells as Frank lifts his leg to pee on one of Tony's expensive vases.

"Oh yeah. There's no way this is going to end badly," Clint smirks and shakes his head.

"Clint," Steve rushes over to the kitchen to grab paper towels and some disinfectant. "You've got to help me keep Tony from finding Frank until I can find him a home."

"Oh no," Clint holds up his hands and flops onto the couch. "There's no way I'm getting mixed up in this. I don't want to have to hear Tony's "Rules of Living in the Tower" speech again."

"Come on, Clint," Steve frowns.

"Take him to the shelter downtown."

"What if no one comes to claim him and they put him down. Look at him, Clint." Steve points to the dog who is sitting in front of him with big, puppy eyes.

"No, Cap," Clint shakes his head, but the two just keep looking at him. "You two are going to get me into trouble. Tony's going to lose it and I want no part in this." Frank inches closer to Clint and lays his head on his knee. "You can keep giving me those sad, puppy eyes, Mutt, but it's not going to work. I'm a trained, stone-cold, unbreakable SHIELD agent." Frank gives him a little whimper and licks his hand. The two stare each other down before Clint finally breaks. "Alright! Alright," Clint stands and runs his hands through his hair. "Fine. I'll help you."

"Really?" Steve lights up.

"Yeah," Clint sighs. "Lucky for us, Tony is out of town until tomorrow morning."

** ***Later That Evening*****

After cleaning up the kitchen, bathroom, and vase, Steve and Frank walk to the pet store to pick up some dog food and a few dog toys. When they get back to the tower, Steve throws a tennis ball across the gym while Franks chases after it. Then they both go for a run around the track and swim a few laps in Tony's large indoor pool.

"Ready for some dinner, Frank?" Steve asks as they walk off the elevator and into the kitchen. As the dog bounces around, Steve dumps a cup of food into the bowl and Frank practically inhales it. Steve makes himself a sandwich and gets about half way through it before he realizes Frank is staring at him.

"Alright, alight," Steve surrenders and throws him a piece of turkey off of the sandwich. "Don't give me those sad eyes."

After they both finish dinner, the pair retire to the living room and Steve flips on the television before laying down on the couch. Frank jumps up and plants himself on top of Steve's stomach. Both of them are sleeping on the couch after a few minutes and that's where Clint finds them after coming home from a long day of filling out mission reports with Natasha.

"Crap," Clint quickly turns around to try to stop Natasha from following him into the living room. " Hey, lets go out tonight."

"What?" Natasha looks at Clint sideways. "You never want to go out."

"Well, I do tonight. Besides, Steve's sleeping on the sofa," Clint whispers.

"Clint, I'm hungry and tired and all I want to do right now is eat dinner, take a bath, and go to bed. We'll be quiet and Steve will be fine," Natasha whispers back.

"Nat, you're always complaining that I never want to go out and now, when I actually want to go out, you don't want to?"

"Seriously, Clint?"

"Come on. It'll be fun."

"Fine," Natasha finally surrenders and Clint sighs with relief and turns for the door. "Let me just grab my jacket."

"No! Wait!" Clint tires to stop her, but Natasha is already in the living room, grabbing her coat off the back of a chair.

"Holy crap," Natasha shouts and Steve and Frank startle awake.

"What? What's wrong?" Steve shoots up and Frank jumps off of him.

"You have a dog in the Tower?" Natasha asks in disbelief.

"Why is everyone yelling?" Bruce asks when he comes running into the living room.

"Steve has a dog in the Tower," Natasha answers Bruce.

"You have a dog in the Tower?" Bruce asks in shock. "Tony hates pets."

"What is the commotion?" Thor asks as he bursts into the room with Mjolnir at the ready. "Is there a battle brewing?"

"No," Bruce answers. "Steve has a dog in the Tower."

"A dog?" Thor asks in shock. "Nay! Tony will be most displeased."

"You look awfully calm right now, Clint," Natasha shoots an accusatory look at the very guilty looking archer.

"What? No. I'm just as shocked as you are!" Clint shouts, pretending to be surprised. "I can't believe you snuck a dog into the Tower, Steve!" Frank runs up to Clint and sits next to him and rubs his head against his leg.

"That dog knows you, Clint. You knew about this!"

"What? No. I had no idea," Clint stammers.

"Tony is going to lose it," Natasha shakes her head at Clint.

"Look, I can explain," Steve starts. "I found him on my way home from the store yesterday. I took him home and I convinced Clint to help me keep him hidden until I could find him a home. I didn't know Tony doesn't like pets."

"I want no part of this," Natasha looks at both Clint and Steve. "I don't want to have to listen to Tony's speech on "Rules of Living in the Tower'."

"Me neither," Bruce shakes his head as he stares out the window as he remembers the lecture. "Worst two hours of my life."

"Verily," Thor nods.

"I've never heard this speech you two are talking about," Steve frowns.

"Trust me. If Tony finds that dog you will hear the speech. You'll provably get the extended version," Natasha points to Frank.

"Nat. Bruce. Thor, please," Steve kneels next to Frank. "He just needs a place to stay until I can find him a home. Please don't tell Tony he's here." Steve and Frank give the Avengers the same look they had given Clint.

"Alright, Steve," Bruce caves in almost immediately. "I'll keep my mouth shut."

"As will I, Steven," Thor crosses his arms and nods.

"Nat?" Steve looks at the Assassin who is looking very grim.

"Fine!" Natasha finally blurts out. "Fine."

"You won't say anything?"

"I'm a SHIELD agent, Steve. Secrecy is all I do."

"Thanks Nat!" Steve rushes over and gives her a hug.

"No problem, Steve," Natasha blushes at Steve's hug and Clint frowns at her.

Steve gathers up Frank's water bowl and retires to his room. Frank jumps up onto the bed and snuggles in next to Steve and doesn't leave his side for the rest of the night.

*****Thanksgiving Day*****

Steve gets up early Thanksgiving day and takes Frank down to go to the bathroom. Once they're back in the Tower, he takes Frank back to his room to feed him.

"Alright, Pal," Steve kneels next to Frank. "I need to you be a good dog and sit in here and keep quiet. I'll start looking for a good home for you tomorrow after Thanksgiving." Frank sits and wags his tail at Steve as he closes the door behind him and heads to the kitchen to start working on Thanksgiving dinner.

"Steve!" Tony shouts from the end of the hall and Steve nearly jumps out of his skin and Tony gives him a strange look. "Geez. Take it easy, Steve. You're awfully jumpy today."

"I wasn't expecting you to be home until later," Steve tries to act natural.

"My flight got in early," Tony eyes Steve suspiciously. "And by that, I mean I got tired of waiting for the jet and few home in my armor. Are you okay?"

"Fine. Lets get started on dinner."

"Parade is on," Bruce announces when the two men enter the room.

"What is the point of this festivity?" Thor tips is head to the side as a giant snoopy balloon floats down the road on the television. "What does this massive, gas-filled canine-like creature have to do with the Giving of Thanks Celebration?"

"It's a parade, Thor," Clint answers from beside him on the couch. "It's fun to watch and it's a tradition."

"Tis a strange tradition, but I like it."

"This parade was around when I was a kid," Steve watches the television fondly. "Except there weren't very many balloons back then."

"No balloons?" Tony frowns. "What kind of deprived childhood parades did you have?"

"I wasn't deprived, Tony," Steve frowns. "We had live animals, marching bands, clowns. It was great. Just because it was smaller doesn't mean it was boring."

"Debatable," Tony jokes and Steve just rolls his eyes at him. "I'll take giant balloons over live animals any day." The Avengers shoot each other a look.

"Look! It is the Man of Spiders in balloon form!" Thor points at the television.

"What?" Tony shouts. "How did that web-head get a balloon before me?"

"People like him better," Clint jokes.

"I am incredibly likable," Tony shoots Clint a look. "Next year there's going to be an Iron Man balloon marching down the streets of New York."

"Alright, Tony," Steve tries to calm the inventor down. "Let's get started on the turkey."

Steve freezes in his tracks when he hears Frank barking in the other room.

"What was that?" Tony looks around and Clint immediately starts to cough.

"Sorry," Clint apologizes as he tries to cover up Frank's barking with his own fake coughing. "Just had a little tickle in my throat."

"I'll go get you something for that," Natasha rushes out of the room and down the hall where she ducks into Steve's room to try to quiet Frank down.

"Here, let me help you guys in the kitchen," Bruce offers and pushes Tony into the kitchen to try to turn his attention away from the coughing/barking."

Natasha walks back into the living room and gives Steve a nod to signal him that everything is good and Steve nods back in thanks. Tony doesn't notice the silent conversation and preheats the oven while Steve pulls the Turkey out that he prepped last night, but it's very frozen.

"Hm, the freezer keeps things a little colder than they used to back in the day," Steve frowns and pokes the frozen solid bird. "I don't think this is going to cook in time to eat by tonight."

"So, no turkey?" Bruce asks.

"What? Nay!" Thor shouts and walks into the kitchen.

"Sorry, Thor," Steve apologizes to the disappointed demi-god. "It's just too frozen."

"I can remedy that," Thor takes a step back and raises his hammer.

"Wait!" Tony shouts, but it's too late. Steve grabs Tony and Bruce just in time to pull them behind the counter as Thor sends lightning into the frozen turkey. Lightning and thunder flash through the kitchen and Clint and Natasha duck for cover in the living area. Steve, Tony, and Bruce slowly dare to peer above the counter to see if it's safe to venture out. Thor stands with Mjolnir resting on his shoulder and looking very proud in front of the now defrosted turkey sitting on top of the scorched counter.

"Behold," Thor holds his hand out in front of him. "The beast has been thawed."

"Thanks, Thor," Steve cautiously approaches the turkey and smiles nervously at the Thunder-god. Thor simply nods and returns to the living area to continue watching the parade.

"So much for not having to replace anything," Tony sighs as he tries to scrape off the burn marks on the expensive granite counter. Steve works on preparing the turkey and Tony helps him set the oven while Bruce peels potatoes and starts to boil them on top of the stove.

"Alright, dessert is next," Steve announces after he shuts the door on the oven to let the turkey bake. Bruce switches from peeling potatoes to peeling apples while Steve starts on making the crust. Since no appliances are needed at the moment, Tony retires to the living area to finish watching the parade with the other Avengers. He returns to check on Steve and Bruce a little while later and finds them both furiously working away. There's a pot of potatoes boiling away, cranberries are cooking next to them, and the stuffing and green bean casserole are in the oven.

A few hours later, Steve takes out the turkey from the oven and sets it on the breakfast bar to let it rest.

"Well look at you go Captain Betty Crocker," Tony pats Steve on the back as Tony munches on some carrots from the veggie tray.

"Dinner will be ready in about thirty," Steve ignores Tony and throws some herbs, butter, milk, and garlic into the potatoes. "Bruce - you wanna work on the mashed potatoes?"

"Sure thing, Cap," Bruce grabs the potato masher and grabs the pot off of the stove when he sees Frank run across the living area. "Whoa!" Bruce shouts.

"What's wrong, Bruce?" Steve asks as he turns around and sees why Bruce yelled. "Oh! No!" Steve yells.

"What's wrong? What is going on with you two?" Tony asks as he grabs another carrot.

"Um, I just forgot to add some salt to the potatoes. Very important to add it before you mash them. Bruce, can you take care of that for me? I'm just going to run to the bathroom really quickly."

"Yeah. No problem, Cap," Bruce answers with a nervous/guilty smile.

Steve rushes around the counter and chases after Frank. The dog's feet are thudding across the floor and Bruce tries to cover the sound. "Bruce smash tiny potatoes!" Bruce shouts and smashes the potatoes aggressively with a goofy grin on his face and Tony just looks at him with a concerned and confused look. "Oh come on, that's funny," Bruce laughs nervously as he continues to smash the potatoes as loudly as he can.

"I think those potatoes are thoroughly smashed there, Big Guy," Tony raises a brow at Bruce and he stops smashing as he sees Steve run behind Tony with Frank in his arms. Steve closes Frank into the room again and rushes back into the kitchen.

"Wanna set the table?" Steve hands Tony a set of plates as he tries to catch his breath from chasing Frank.

"I hate being handed things," Tony frowns and stares at the stack of plates. "Are you guys sure you're okay? All of you are acting really strange."

"Just set the table," Steve frowns and Tony reluctantly takes the stack of dishes and sets the table.

"Smells great," Clint comments when he walks into the kitchen. "And that is one beautiful bird," he glances over to the turkey and almost has a heart attack. "Steve!"

"What?" Steve pokes his head out from the refrigerator. "Hey! Get off the turkey! Bad dog!" Steve throws his hand over his mouth and the word 'dog' when Tony walks into the kitchen right as Clint is running out of the room with Frank.

"What happened to the turkey?" Tony asks when he sees a decent sized chunk missing from the Turkey. Thor's eyes dart around, panicked at the possibility of being found out. The Thunder-god immediately acts out of impulse and starts chowing and stuffing his face with turkey.

"I am so sorry, my Friends," Thor says with a mouth full of turkey. "Is this not how you celebrate Thanksgiving?"

"Um, no, Thor," Steve tries to help Thor with the cover. "But that's okay. We'll just cut around that part."

"What did you say about a dog?" Tony asks Steve.

"I was yelling….at…Thor," Steve answers.

"And you called him a dog?"

"I said dog. Like "what up, dawg?"' Steve stammers awkwardly with the uncharacteristic slang. Tony looks over all of the Avengers who are all looking rather guilty.

"Alright," Tony shouts. "I don't know what's going on, but _something_ is going on. Anyone care to share?" The Avengers all remain silent when Clint comes running in chasing after Frank who escaped again.

"Heeeeyyyy…." Clint greets awkwardly. "Look what I found in the back of the Tower."

"Is that a dog?" Tony asks in disbelief. "Did you bring a dirty, flea-infested, mutt into the Tower? Do you not remember the Rule of Living in the Tower?"

"I…." Clint stammers.

"He didn't bring the dog into the Tower," Steve interrupts. "I did."

"What? Why?" Tony turns around to face Steve who is looking rather ashamed.

"Look, I didn't know you didn't like pets and that no pets was a "Rule for Living in the Tower." I found him yesterday getting picked on by a bunch of kids. I brought him back to the Tower and convinced everyone to help me keep him hidden until I could find him a home. They didn't have anything to do with Frank and I talked them into everything," Steve confesses and sits of the floor as Frank comes and lays his head in Steve's lap. "I just couldn't leave him in the alley for those kids to bully and hurt him."

All of the Avengers eye Tony as he stares down Steve who is still sitting on the floor with Frank, his head hanging in shame as he pets the dog.

"Aw, dammit," Tony sighs. "It's okay, Steve."

"What?" Steve dares to look up from the floor.

"You can both stop sitting on the floor looking like a couple of kicked puppies. He can stay until you get him a home, but you're disinfecting my Tower when he leaves."

"Deal," Steve enthusiastically agrees and everyone sighs a collective sigh of relief.

"But you're all getting a review in the Rules of Living in the Tower," Tony points at all the Avengers and they all groan in annoyance. "Just kidding. It's the holidays. You're off the hook THIS time."

"Now THAT is something to be thankful for," Bruce smirks.

A little while later the table is filled with delicious looking food. There are bowls filled with mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, and green bean casserole. Steve sets down the huge-half eaten-turkey at the head of the table and the Avengers all gather to the table from the living area.

"This is truly a marvelous feast, Captain," Thor's eyes light up when he sees the table.

"Nice job, Cap," Natasha gives him a friendly kiss on the cheek

"Thanks, Natasha," Steve blushes. "Dig in guys!"

The Avengers don't hesitate for a second and start passing around the bowls and scooping food onto their plates and Steve is pretty sure that he catches Tony sneaking Frank some turkey under the table.

After everyone is finished eating and thoroughly stuffed they all retire to the couches in the living room and watch television in their content food comas.

"Crap," Tony mutters when Fury pops up on the television in place of Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving special.

"Avengers. I need you to deal with a situation downtown," Fury answers.

"It's Thanksgiving, Fury," Tony complains.

"Tell that to the shoppers going crazy at the Macy's downtown. The police are overwhelmed with the Black Friday shoppers and they need back up. Move out Avengers," Fury orders and snaps off the television.

"I'm so full," Clint groans as he picks himself up off of the couch. "If we have to go on a mission, there is a good chance I'm going to yark on someone."

The Avengers reluctantly suit up and run downtown and make their way into the crowd of people at the Macy's.

"This is insanity," Thor shouts over the comm-link as he works to disperse an argument between two women over a toaster. "Is this not a day to be thankful? Why are all these people fighting over such meager material possessions?"

"It's Black Friday shopping, Thor," Clint answers as he works his way through the crowd. "People go crazy over the deals the stores put on."

"Sorry, I don't work here," Tony shrugs apologetically to a woman asking him if he knows where she could find the electronics. "Not too many Macy's employees wear iron suits of armor." Tony grunts when the air is knocked out of him when the woman hits him in the gut with her purse for the snarky comment. "We need to get this under control, Avengers," Tony grunts as he doubles over and the woman stomps away.

"No Ma'am, I'm sorry. I don't know what a Minecraft is," Steve frowns and she stomps off. "Alright Avengers: Crowd control and dispersal is the play. You all know what to do."

The Avengers begin to work on getting the situation under control when Steve finds a little girl sitting on a bench crying. "Hey, are you lost?" he asks.

"No," she sniffs. "I'm here with my mom."

"Where's your mom?" Steve asks.

"Over there," She points to a woman with a stack of papers in her hands trying to talk to a store employee. "We're trying to find my puppy. His name is Scout. Have you seen him?" She asks and holds up a flyer with a picture of a familiar looking dog.

"I think I might have seen him," Steve smiles and takes the flyer from the little girl.

"Really?" she perks up with the hope that she might have finally found her dog.

"Yes. Can you get your mom and I'll take you to him?"

"Yes!" She smiles and rushes over to her mom. Steve stands and looks at the flyer, happy to have found his canine-friend's home, but he can't help but feel a little sad at the same time.

Once the crowd is under control, Steve leaves to take the little girl and her mother back to the Tower to retrieve Scout. When they arrive, Scout runs out of the room to greet his little girl as he jumps and barks and wags his tail at the sight of his lost friend. Steve smiles and laughs at the dog's excitement.

"Scout!" the little girl shouts and gives him a hug. "I'm so glad we found you!"

"Thank you so much for taking care of him," the mother hugs Steve.

"No problem, Ma'am," Steve blushes. "He's a great dog. It was my pleasure."

They ride the elevator down to the lobby where the little girl and her mom get ready to leave with Scout.

Steve kneels and pets Scout one last time and the dog licks his nose. "No more running off, okay?"

"Thank you again," the little girl gives Steve a hug.

"You're welcome," Steve gives her a hug back before they leave for home. "Bye, Frank," Steve stands and watches them leave for a moment before a hand lands on his shoulder.

"You did a good thing today, Steve," Tony says as he pats him on the shoulder.

"Thanks," Steve huffs and smirks. "But I'm gonna miss that mutt."

"I know, but you helped get him home." Tony smiles and Steve smiles and turns to go up to the Tower. "Hey, you want to do something to take your mind off of him?"

"What did you have in mind?" Steve asks.

"Well, the tower needs to be sanitized. Feel like scrubbing floors?" Tony shoots Steve a look, but Steve just rolls his eyes at him and walks off the elevator to go to bed. "Hey! I'm kidding! Unless you really feel like scrubbing floors. In that case I've got a bucket with a mop all ready to go for you! Steve? Okay - tomorrow then," Tony calls after Steve is long gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**if the Avengers were a Sitcom…. Chapter 4**

** It's Avenger's Christmas time! I did do a little bit of research to try to find the closest Norse holiday to Christmas as I could find and I chose Jólablót. Info was sparse, so please forgive any misinformation or flaws in the celebration as I did tweak it to suit the story. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter in**_** If the Avengers were a Sitcom**_**! Merry Christmas! **

The week has been filled with an unusually high number of missions, attacks and world ending situations and today is no different. The Avengers have just finished a very long and difficult battle with Hydra after they discovered a plan the Nazi group had been working on for a very long time. Hydra was on the verge of launching an attack on New York with a stash of advanced weaponry they had been manufacturing in an abandoned warehouse. The Avengers closed in on the warehouse before they had a chance to move out and they engaged the enemy. Hydra had the advantage in sheer numbers, but the Avengers still managed to keep them back. In an act of desperation, the Hydra soldiers used the weapons they intended to use on the city to try to take down the Heroes. The end result is a destroyed warehouse, dozens of captured Hydra soldiers and scientists, and a bunch of exhausted Avengers.

After fighting hard and gathering up what remained of Hydra for SHIELD to detain, the team regroups outside of the warehouse. The building is mostly rubble now and it's bitterly cold outside. It's been snowing since they landed that afternoon in the Quinjet and there's a good foot and a half of snow on the ground now.

"That was unpleasant," Clint grumbles and tries to repair his bow that was damaged in the fight.

"Yeah, I'm getting a little tired of this," Natasha adds as she limps over next to Clint.

"Hulk tired from smashing," Hulk sits against one of the only walls of the old warehouse left standing.

"Verily," Thor sighs and collapses next to Hulk.

"Yes, that whole deal sucked," Tony lands with a thud in the middle of the Avengers. His armor is scratched up and dented. "Lets finish cleaning up so we can get out of here."

The Avengers collectively groan and none of them move an inch.

"Cap, now would be a good time for one of your rousing and inspirational pep talks to rally the troops," Tony turns to the Captain who simply grunts in derision while he huddles close to a small fire still burning in the rubble of the building. The cold has always made him miserable and today is no different. That's when Tony knows how bad moral is on the team. When Captain America doesn't snatch up an opportunity to encourage his team, you know it's dire.

Tony looks over his team and shakes his head. They've been pushed to their limits and burned out this week. Even the Avengers can only fight and protect so much before it begins to wear on them. Tony knows he's got to somehow get his team back on track. They need to do something fun.

"Alright," Tony claps his iron-clad gloves together. "We are in serious need of some kind of stress reliever."

"Got any beer?" Clint snarks.

"Sorry, fresh out," Tony shrugs. "I'm sober now, remember? Anyone else have any suggestions? Cap?"

"I'm freezing," Steve frowns and shivers. "Lets just clean up and go home." Steve stands up as he throws his shield on his back and walks past Tony toward a group of Hydra scientists a few SHEILD agents are escorting to a transport. Tony has and idea and, as he normally does, he doesn't really think it through, he just acts on the idea. He turns and shoves Steve down the hill.

"Tony!" Steve yells as he falls on his back on his shield and slides all the way down the steep hill. The whole team rushes to the edge of the hill and watches as Steve slides all the way down to the bottom.

"Have you lost your mind, Stark?" Clint asks in disbelief.

"What the heck, Stark!" Steve shouts from the bottom of the hill.

"Come on!" Tony shouts back with a grin on his face. He knows Steve is mad at him when he calls him by his last name and Tony always enjoys getting on Steve's nerves. "You can't tell me that wasn't fun! When was the last time you went sledding?"

"Not the point, Stark!" Steve shouts.

"What is this 'sledding' you speak of?" Thor asks with genuine curiosity.

"It's basically what Cap just did. You side down a hill on the snow," Tony explains and fires a repulser blast down the hill, melting the snow slightly. The chilly night air quickly freezes the melted snow to create an ice slide.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Clint rushes forward in excitement and skillfully glides down the slide on his feet. Thor quickly follows, but catches up to Clint and takes him out as they both skid down the slide and into a snowbank.

"Are you guys alright?" Steve asks as he rushes over.

"Fine," Clint grumbles, thoroughly annoyed that Thor took him out on his perfect run down the slide.

"Glorious!" Thor pops out of the snow bank with his hammer raised in the air. "That was most enjoyable."

Steve laughs now that he knows both his teammates are okay and helps to pull Clint out of the snow.

"Come on, Nat," Tony elbows the Widow who sports a look that's icier than the snow that's still falling.

"I don't sled," Natasha shoots her icy glare to Tony.

"Seriously? Come on, it'll be fun!" Tony urges and makes a couple more slides in the snow. "Just go down once and I'll stop harassing you."

Natasha reluctantly agrees. After years of knowing and working with Tony, she knows he's nothing if not persistent and it will be a lot easier and painless if she just goes down once. She jumps onto a very twisty slide and glides down on her feet just like Clint had, but with a much more graceful landing, and Tony soon follows behind her. At the bottom of the hill, the Avengers are all laughing and the mood is significantly lighter.

"Hulk Slide!" Hulk shouts as he jumps belly first onto the snowy hill to create his own track in the snow.

"Scatter! Scatter!" Clint trudges his way through the snow and waves his arms frantically in the air as the Big Green Monster comes careening at them down the hill, but it's too late. The Hulk slides down the hill and crashes into the Avengers, sending them all flying into the soft snow covering the bottom of the hill.

"Sorry," Hulk shrugs as each of the Avenger's pop their heads out of the snow one by one.

"It's still cold," Steve sneezes from the snow bank. "But lets do that again!"

The team runs up the hill and slide down a few more times before calling it a night and returning to the jet to go home.

"Good call tonight, Tony," Steve turns to the Iron Avenger from the co-pilot seat next to Tony who is flying the jet.

"I made a lot of good calls tonight. You'll have to be more specific," Tony smiles a cocky smile.

"The sledding," Steve shoots Tony a mildly exasperated look. "The team needed it tonight."

"We need more moments like that," Tony says grimly. "It seems like we've been so busy saving the world and fighting the bad guys that we haven't had much time to do anything fun. The last fun thing we did was probably Thanksgiving a few weeks ago. It needs to happen more often."

"Did you have something in mind?" Steve asks.

"I think I do," Tony smiles and Steve can't help but feel a little concerned at what Tony is scheming.

* * *

><p>"Secret Santa!" Tony shouts with a big smile on his face as he walks into the living area with a santa hat on his head.<p>

"What?" Clint deadpans.

"Secret Santa," Tony repeats as Clint rolls his eyes at the Billionaire. "It's Christmas time, Mr. Grinch. It's time to celebrate!"

"Christmas?" Thor asks curiously. "When does this celebration start?"

"December 25th. About a week away," Bruce answers.

"So it tis similar to Jólablót?" Thor asks.

"Jola-what?" Tony looks at the demi-god with a confused look.

"Jólablót," Thor repeats. "Tis a Norse celebration on December 21st where there is much feasting and story telling. At the end of the night, Father Odin gives out gifts to those of us who have lived and fought honorably."

"Yeah, it is pretty much like that," Natasha nods.

"Secret Santa. Secret Odin, whatever you want to call it," Tony waves his hands in the air. "We're doing it this year."

"How does Secret Sa…Odin work?" Steve asks.

"We all draw names and who ever we get we buy a gift for. Fifty dollar limit. No gift cards allowed," Tony explains.

"I wish to partake in the celebration," Thor roars.

"Alright. I'm in," Steve nods.

"Me too," Natasha adds.

"Sounds like fun to me," Bruce smiles.

The Avengers all stop and stare at Clint, awaiting for answer. "Fine!" Clint finally throws his arms up in surrender. "Fine. I'll do it."

"And the Grinch is in," Natasha flops onto the couch next to Clint and nudges him playfully and he simply grunts.

Tony walks over to the kitchen and grabs out a pen and paper and writes down everyone's names. A kitchen pot serves as a holding vessel for the strips of paper and he walks back into the living area.

"Alright. Everyone pick one piece of paper. Whoever you get is the person you are buying a Christmas gift for. Remember not to say who you got," Tony shoots Thor a look. "Hence the name 'Secret Santa.' or "Secret Odin' if you prefer."

Each Avenger takes a turn picking a name out of the pot, none of them giving any tells or hints on who they've chosen.

"Everyone have a name?" Steve asks and everyone nods.

"Perfect," Tony claps his hands together. "Tomorrow we go cut our Christmas tree. Then the first annual Avengers Secret Odin will begin in one week!"

**OOOOOOOOOO**

"What about that one?" Natasha points to a tree.

"It's kind of…fluffy," Clint stares at it and tips his head to the side to appraise the tree.

"It's cute," Natasha defends her tree.

"Naw," Tony shakes his head. "You want your tree like you want your women: Tall and stacked."

"You're a pig," Natasha deadpans.

"What? I'm joking!" Tony laughs. "Seriously though, how about that looker over there?" Tony points to a tree that's got to be at least 12 feet tall.

"It's huge," Bruce stares up at the tree that towers over them.

"The tower has tall ceilings," Tony reasons. "Besides, it's big and green and a little prickly, just like you. Maybe you're family."

"You're sooooo hilarious," Bruce rolls his eyes at Tony.

"Can we just pick one?" Clint complains.

"We need to pick out just the right one, Mr. Grinch," Tony replies. Calling Clint a Grinch has become his new favorite past time. "Maybe you and Clint, aka Mr. Grinch, are family too, Bruce. You're both green and grumpy."

"Here's a good one," Steve interrupts before the arguing turns angry. Steve knows Tony is an expert and making playful banter turn ugly real fast.

"_That _one?" Tony raises a brow at the sad looking tree Steve is looking at. "It's sparse and twiggy."

"It's a nice little tree. Reminds me of the ones I had when I was a kid," Steve smiles.

"Figures Captain America would choose the Charlie Brown Tree," Tony sighs.

The team moves on and looks at countless other trees until they stumble upon one that's perfect. In fact, it's so perfect that they all stop and point at the tree at the same time.

"This is it, guys," Tony smiles. "This is our tree."

They all agree. The tree is beautiful. It's tall enough to not be dwarfed by the Tower's tall ceilings, but not so big it's ridiculous. The branches are full and classic for a traditional tree. They immediately go to work to cut down the tree. Steve crawls under the tree and starts to saw it down. After a few minutes of sawing through the dense trunk the saw snaps in half.

"What happened?" Bruce asks when Steve crawls out from under the tree with the broken saw.

"It just broke," Steve shrugs, not really knowing what to say.

"We can't leave the tree here. Someone else might snatch it up," Clint says.

"Lucky for you guys, I never leave home without this," Tony pulls the sleeve of his jacket up to press a small button on a bracelet on his wrist. In seconds, his armor flies through the trees and assembles on him. "Stand back."

The Avengers step back and Tony takes aim with the laser on his arm. He skillfully slices through the trunk of the tree and in a matter of seconds the tree is down.

"Show off," Bruce teases as Tony's armor folds up into a backpack.

"I think you mean 'well-prepared," Tony answers cheekily.

"No, I definitely mean 'show off," Bruce shoots back with a smirk.

The Avengers carry their tree back and bring it home to the Tower. They lift it up into the stand and start to string lights, hang ornaments, and run garland around the tree. It takes them over an hour to get everything up on the tree and by the time they're done, it's beautiful. Thor boosts Tony up onto his shoulders and he places the star on top of the tree.

"It looks great," Tony steps back and the Avengers all admire their work. "Now for the big finish." Tony walks to the back of the tree and plugs the lights in and the tree instantly lights up and fills the room with a soft glow.

"Now _that_ is a tree," Steve folds his arms across his chest and takes in the view of the beautiful tree.

"Now we just need some gifts to go under it," Natasha adds.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days the Avengers all work on finding the perfect gift for their Secret 'Odin'. After much thought and some fancy wrapping paper later, there are gifts under the tree for each Avenger and the big day has finally arrived.<p>

"Tis Christmas morning!" Thor shouts as he rushes into the living room, but there's no one to be found. Thor rushes down the hall to each of the Avenger's rooms to wake them for Christmas morning. "Arise Avengers! Tis Christmas morning! Let the merriment and festivities begin!"

"This is not supposed to happen when you don't have actual kids," Tony groans as he stumbles into the living room.

"What the hell?" Clint grumbles as he walks in.

"What time is it?" Natasha asks wearily and shuffles in behind Clint.

"5am," Bruce sighs and flops onto the couch.

"Coffee," Steve mumbles and scoots into the kitchen.

"Tis Christmas morn!" Thor shouts again. "Are you not excited?"

"We are, Thor," Bruce smiles. "It's just a little earlier than we would normally celebrate."

"I am sorry, Friends. I was simply too excited to wait," Thor grins.

"Yeah, we got that," Tony nods and takes a seat in the big, soft, leather chair across from Bruce.

"Well, we're up. We might as well exchange gifts," Clint sits next to Bruce and Natasha next to him.

"I'll go first," Tony grabs the gift he wrapped from under the tree. "Nat, this one's for you."

"Thank you, Tony," Natasha opens up the box and she shoots Tony a look that he rarely sees from her.

"Was that a genuine smile?" Tony asks in mock-shock. "I must have done a good job."

"You did," Natasha pulls out a large gun and looks it over. "How did you get your hands on this?"

"I'm Tony Stark," Tony raises a brow. "I can get a lot of stuff that other people can't."

"This was for sure more than $50," Natasha realizes how expensive this must have been.

"Actually, I got it for next to nothing. One of the benefits of being a rich celebrity. People give you free stuff all the time," Tony shrugs.

"What's the big deal about the gun?" Clint asks.

"This is the new, unreleased, custom Sig M11-A1 9mm Threaded Barrel Pistol, complete with custom grips, titanium slide, short reset trigger, three 15 round flush fit magazines, complete with night sights and thread-on silencers."

"Just promise me you won't use on me," Tony jokes.

"No promises," Natasha replies and Tony's unsure if she's joking. "Thank you, Tony."

"You're welcome, Nat."

"So, my gift goes to you, Clint," Natasha picks up her gift from the tree and hands it to Clint.

"Hm, you bought a gift for me, huh?" Clint shoots Natasha a mischievous look. "What could it be? Sexy underwear? French maid's outfit?"

"Although you would look pretty hot in any of those options, none of your guesses are correct," Natasha frowns at Clint.

"Aw, come on Nat, I'm just joking around," Clint tries to appease his annoyed girlfriend.

"Just open your gift, jerk," Natasha nudges him. Clint tears away the paper and opens the box to find a beautiful compound bow.

"Nat, it's perfect," Clint pulls the bow out of the box and looks it over. It's lines are clean and the bow is sturdy. The bowstring is strong as he draws it back. The body of the bow is engraved at the bottom with the word "Budapest" with a small heart next to it. It's so small that Clint is pretty sure that he's the only one who sees it other than Natasha.

"I'm glad you like it," Natasha smirks and leans her head on his shoulder and Clint lays his head on hers before he turns to Thor.

"My gift is for you, Big Guy," Clint pushes the large, wrapped box over to Thor.

"Thank you, Clint," Thor grins and excitedly rips the wrapping paper off of the box. He opens the flaps and gasps when he sees what's inside. "Popped Tarts!"

"I thought you might like them," Clint laughs.

"So many boxes of Popped Tarts!" Thor digs through the large box and pulls out box after box after box of different flavored Pop Tarts. "Never have I seen so many different flavors! Many thanks, Clint," Thor nods to Clint.

"You're welcome, Big Guy," Clint nods.

"Tis my turn to give a gift," Thor grabs his present from under the tree and hands it to Bruce. "Merry Christmas, Bruce."

Bruce opens the gift and finds a book and an envelope. He opens the book and his gaze shoots to Thor immediately. "Thor, this is amazing."

"What is it?" Steve asks.

"It's letters and drawings from kids and adults to the Hulk," Bruce pages through the book.

"Yes, it is a Book of Scraps," Thor answers. "I found much mail from fans in the Tower that Pepper was sorting through. I gathered all of the ones sent for you and put them into a book so you could have them all together. I thought you would find it most enjoyable to see them all together in a book for you."

"Yes, it is most enjoyable," Bruce smiles. "Thank you, Thor. This is very thoughtful."

"There is more," Thor points to the envelope and Bruce opens it.

"A certificate for a spa and massage day?" Bruce looks at Thor in confusion.

"You had said that you are always angry. I though perhaps a day of relaxation would also be beneficial."

"Thank you. Also very thoughtful," Bruce smiles. "Okay, my turn. Cap, I drew your name and this is for you."

Steve smiles and rips into the gift, but is a little confused when he opens it. "It's a blanket with an electrical cord?"

"It's an electric blanket," Bruce explains, grinning a little at Steve's perplexed look.

"It's electric?" Steve doesn't get it. "Is everything run on electricity now-a-days?"

"Not everything, but trust me, you're going to love this," Bruce helps Steve open the box and plug the blanket into the wall next to the couch. "This control here, lets you choose how warm your blanket gets. Watch." Bruce turns the knob up half way and the blanket starts to heat up.

"Whoa, that's awesome," Steve puts his hand on the blanket as it starts to get warm. "Maybe all of this tech stuff isn't so bad. Thank you, Bruce."

"You're welcome, Cap. Merry Christmas."

"Tony, I got your name," Steve picks up the gift and hands it to Tony before retreating back to the warmth of his new blanket.

"What did you get me, Cap?" Tony shakes the gift as he tries to guess what's inside. "A new set of tools? A really nice watch? Maybe a new yacht?"

"Just open it, Tony, "Steve shakes his head at Tony's nonsense.

Tony rips into the wrapping paper and opens up the box. "Steve got me, $50," Tony gives Steve a sideways look at the odd start to his gift. "And he also got me, a picture frame?" Inside the box is a frame holding a very old photo of Howard and Maria, Tony's mother and father. Under the old photo is an equally old letter. Tony picks it up to read it.

"Well, what is it a photo of?" Clint asks curiously.

"It's a photo of my parents and a letter from my father," Tony stares at the piece of paper intently. "It says:

'Dear Peggy,

I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing because I will not be able to fly with you to Europe next week to meet our contact as Maria has officially delivered a healthy, bouncing, baby boy. He's perfect. I've never been so excited about anything in my life.

It's strange. Being a father has always been something that has well and truly terrified me, but now that it's really happening, I couldn't be more happy. I look at him and find myself wondering who he will grow up to be. Will he take after me or his mother? Will he have a passion for creating things like his old man? I can see myself in him, Peggy and I couldn't be more proud of him. Anthony Edward Stark. My greatest creation and I can't wait to see who he grows up to be.

Please send my regards to our contact and to everyone at SHIELD.

Sincerely, Howard Stark."

"Your father wrote that?" Bruce looks at the photograph and the letter.

"Howard wrote that to Peggy forty years ago," Steve answers. "I was helping her sort through some boxes and we found some old letters and that one was tucked away in one of them along with the photo."

"Steve," Tony looks up from the letter. "Thank you. This is one of the best gifts I've ever been given. Honestly."

"Merry Christmas, Tony," Steve smiles.

"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Clint raises up his cup of coffee with a goofy grin on his face.

"You did not just say that," Natasha looks at Clint sideways.

"Who's the Grinch now?" Clint smiles as he takes a sip of his coffee.

The rest of the Avengers' Christmas is filled with a delicious breakfast and some well earned down time. It's a quiet day together, but the Avengers wouldn't have it any other way.


	5. Chapter 5

**If the Avengers were a Sitcom….Chapter 5**

"Thor, you have a visitor," Clint announces with a mischievous grin on his face. "A _girl _visitor."

"A girl?" Tony asks incredulously.

"Hello, Jane," Thor ignores the two men and greets Jane as he quickly walks over to meet her when she walks through the door. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, Thor," Jane smiles uncomfortably with everyone starring at her. "I just got back from the field with Darcy and Erik and I wanted to come and see how you are settling in."

"Yes, I am most happy living here with the Avengers," Thor nods and leads Jane into the living area. "Please, come in and meet everyone. This is Clint, Tony, Steven, Natasha, and Bruce. My friends, this is Jane." Thor introduces everyone and each of them nod or wave as Thor calls their name.

"Very nice to meet all of you," Jane smiles nervously.

Nice to finally meet you, Jane," Steve nods and shakes her hand. "Thor has told us all about you."

"Really? All good things, I hope," Jane smiles timidly and looks at Thor.

"Only the best," Steve nods and Jane blushes a little.

"Come, Jane," Thor takes her by the hand and leads her back to the kitchen. "You must try this food called "popped tarts."

"So, Thor knows other people," Clint whispers to the other Avengers in the living area once Thor and Jane are out of ear shot.

"Other _girl_ people," Tony adds. "Very interesting."

"The real question is: is she single?" Clint brings up the important question.

"Tony?" Bruce looks to Tony who is already searching on his phone."

"What are you doing?" Steve asks as he watches Tony type away on his phone as he hacks into a government website like he's done this a hundred times before. Little does Steve know that Tony probably has done it a hundred times before.

"Pulling up Jane's information from her tax records," Tony answers simply.

"You can do that?" Steve asks. "Isn't that illegal?"

"Very," Tony nods. "Jane! What's your last name?"

"Foster," Jane answers from the kitchen where Thor is showing her the toaster. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Tony waves from his spot on the sofa, but never taking his eyes away from the phone.

"Prepare yourself, Jane. The popped tarts leap out very quickly. It's quite startling," Thor pulls Jane's attention back to the toaster.

"Jane Foster. Foster. Foster," Tony mumbles as he surfs through her private information.

"I don't think this is right," Steve frowns.

"Relax, Rogers," Tony pats Steve on the shoulder in a half-hearted attempt to assure him. "Don't be such a boy scout."

"Eagle scout," Steve corrects.

"What?"

"I was an eagle scout," Steve explains, obviously not understanding the jab.

"Why am I not surprised," Tony rolls hie eyes. "It's not like we're stealing her identity. We just want her relationship status."

"She obviously likes him," Natasha points out. "As the only woman in the group, it's very obvious she is waiting for him to ask her out."

"What do you mean?" Bruce asks.

"You guys are so clueless," Natasha sighs. "She drove all the way over here right after she gets back from the field. She's standing over there listening to him explain how the toaster works and what pop tarts are. She was obviously nervous when he was introducing her to us - his close friends. If that doesn't scream 'I like you" I don't know what does. Trust me, she's single and she's interested."

"Single!" Tony announces when he finds the answer he was looking for on his phone.

"Told you," Natasha tips her head with a smug smiles on her face.

"Hm, single, young, attractive girl who is interested in Thor," Clint runs his hand over his chin.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Tony raises a brow to Clint.

"Matchmaking is dangerous business," Steve warns as he thinks back to all the terrible dates Bucky set him up with way back in the day. "Thor will figure it out when he's ready."

"I think you're giving him a little too much credit, Steve. Thor can barely understand us, let alone the subtle, nearly un-readable, signals from a woman," Tony gives Natasha a sideways look. "We're actually from this realm and we have a hard enough time understanding women." Clint and Bruce nod their heads in agreement.

"You're all ridiculous," Natasha rolls her eyes at them.

"We're going to help our Viking pal out," Clint throws his arm around Tony's neck.

"Go talk to Jane," Clint nods his head toward Jane in the kitchen to Natasha.

"What? No. I don't want anything to do with this nonsense," Natasha shakes her head.

"You said it yourself: she likes him. He's never going to ask her out unless we help him," Tony reasons.

"No, Stark. I'm with Steve. You two are asking for trouble," Natasha stands firm.

"Come on, Nat," Clint takes her hand in his. "Jane really likes him. Thor could be really happy with her. Just like how happy I am with you."

"You really mean that?" Natasha expression softens.

"Absolutely," Clint nods.

Natasha gazes into Clint's eyes and leans in close to him and whispers in his ear, "I'm really happy with you too. Thor does deserve to be happy."

"Does that mean you'll do it?," Clint tips his forehead into her shoulder."

"I love you, Clint," Natasha smirks. "But you're full of crap," Natasha laughs and quickly pulls away causing Clint to fall forward before he catches himself. "You're not the touchy-feely-I'm-so-happy-with-you kind of guy."

"That was cold," Clint frowns and Natasha just laughs at him. "Ice cold."

"Oh come on, that was funny," Natasha teases.

"I agree. It was funny," Tony nods in agreement.

"Whose side are you on, Stark?" Clint shoots him a glare.

"My side," Tony answers. "Obviously."

"You're both cold, cold people," Clint shakes his head.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Natasha smiles at Clint, but the Archer simply frowns. "Come on, Clint," Natasha sits next to him on the sofa as he pouts. He just frowns at her and she wraps her arms around his. "Would it make you feel better if I agree to help you?"

"It's a start," Clint finally starts to come around.

"Trust me, we'll be even by tonight," Natasha winks at Clint seductively.

"Really?" Clint lights up

"Ahem," Steve clears his throat to remind the couple there are still other people in the room.

"Sorry, Steve," Clint has the decency to at least look a little ashamed. "And you're right, I was totally full of crap," he admits to Natasha.

"Yeah, I know you are, babe," Natasha grins. "Okay, I'm running interference. You guys better do your part and get Thor on the ball," Natasha whispers as she gets up to go talk to Jane.

"Hey! Thor," Tony waves Thor over from the kitchen when Natasha walks over and visits with Jane.

"Yes, Stark?" Thor walks up to his friends and leaves the two women to talk in the kitchen.

"What's the scoop on Jane?" Tony asks with a big grin on his face.

"I'm sorry, I do not understand," Thor looks back at Jane and then back to Tony, confused. "What is Jane scooping?"

"No, I mean what's the scoop? You know, her story?" Tony explains.

"Oh, yes. Her scoop is that she is a scientist who studies the stars with her friends Erik and Darcy," Thor starts. "We met in the desert when she struck me with her automobile."

"Wait, she hit you with her car?" Clint interrupts.

"Yes. Twice," Thor nods. "She provided me with transportation and helped me to defeat Loki and the Destroyer."

"She sounds like she's quite a lady," Steve adds when Thor's story reminds him of Peggy and what an amazing woman she was. "Thor. You gotta make a move, Mister."

"Make what move?" Thor looks at Steve and the other Avengers.

"I thought you wanted to stay out of this, Rogers," Tony raises a brow to Steve.

"I was," Steve answers and bows his head to hide a smile when he remembers all of the good times he had with Peggy. "But, like Natasha said, Thor deserves to be happy."

"I am very happy, Captain," Thor frowns and studies his teammates. "My friends, please tell me what is going on. I am most confused."

"You and Jane, Thor," Clint elbows the demi-god in the side. "It's obvious she likes you and you seem to like her too."

"Yes, I am most fond of Jane," Thor nods. "But what does Jane have to do with any of this?"

"Nat's right, we are clueless," Bruce shakes his head and laughs.

"Jane and you. You and Jane. Come on, Thor. Even you must see it," Tony tries to explain. "Jane _likes_ you.

"Likes me?" Thor turns his gaze to Jane in the kitchen with Natasha. "You mean,_ likes_ me?" Thor's mind and faces freezes in a state of shock as he pieces this new information together.

"Yeah," Tony nods sarcastically. "Just a little, Thor."

"Well, I am most fond of Jane," Thor stutters and his voice cracks a little.

"Yes, you said that already," Bruce points out.

"So….," Clint tips his head forward to Thor.

"So, what?" Thor asks nervously.

"Go ask her out for a date," Clint pressures.

"Ask her out for a date?" Thor's composure become visibly fidgety.

You both like each other. You're single. She's single. This doesn't take a genius to put this together, Thor," Tony elbows Thor is the side.

"I am most fond of Jane," Thor looks like he's going to throw up.

"Again, you've already said that," Clint laughs.

"Thor," Steve walks up and puts his hand on the taller man's shoulder. "Don't let these fellas pressure you into doing something you're not ready to do, but make sure that you're not letting something really good slip through your fingers either. If my past has taught me anything, it's that you have to seize the day and live without regrets."

"YOLO," Tony replies.

"What?" Thor and Steve both ask at the same time.

"YOLO," Bruce laughs at the two out of date Avenger's faces. "It's an acronym for You Only Live Once."

"Sure," Steve shrugs. "YOLO."

"Never say YOLO again, Steve," Tony pleads. "It just sounds wrong."

"Let's get back on track here," Clint pulls the conversation back. "Are you going to ask her out or what, Thor?"

"I believe that I will," Thor nods nervously and glances at Steve after he thinks for a moment. "I believe that this 'YOLO' is correct and I must not waste any more time. I shall ask Jane to accompany me on a date."

"Atta boy, Thor!" Tony punches the demi-god in the arm in a show of support.

The others all pat him on the back and encourage him as he starts to walk to the kitchen. Natasha sees him coming over and makes up an excuse to leave.

"Jane," Thor quietly says her name when he returns to the kitchen. "Did you enjoy your popped tart?"

"Yes," Jane smiles. "It was delicious. Thank you."

"You are most welcome, Jane,' Thor glances back to the living room and the Avengers are all peering over the back of the sofas, waiting to see what happens. Tony shoots Thor a thumbs up and Thor sets his gaze and nods. "Jane, I…I must ask you something."

"Alright," Jane nods. "What is it, Thor?"

"I am wondering….Would you…..would you wish to….." Thor takes a deep breath before he composes himself. '_You are a prince of Asgard. Act like one,' _he thinks to himself. "Jane. I would be most honored if you would join me for a date tomorrow night."

"Oh…Uh….I would love to, Thor," Jane is a little shocked.

There is a small celebration in the living area with Tony and Clint high-fiving each other.

"Excellent," Thor grins ear to ear. "I shall pick you up at the place of your dwelling at 7."

"That sounds perfect," Jane smiles and picks up her things to leave and Thor walks ahead of her to open the door for her. Before Jane leaves she glances over her shoulder to the living area where the Avengers are all still spying from behind the sofas. She waves goodbye and mouths the words 'thank you' to the group as she walks out the door.

"Goodbye, Jane," Thor is still grinning.

"Bye, Thor," Jane laughs and walks out the door.

"Way to go, Big Guy!" Clint congratulates and pats Thor on the back.

"Very smooth," Tony laughs.

"So where are you going to take her on your date?" Steve asks.

"I do not know," Thor's smile turns to a frown when he realizes he has no idea what to do with Jane on their date. "What do Midgardians do on a date?"

"You should do something outside the box," Clint suggests. "How about paintball?"

"Too much for a first date," Tony shakes his head. "You want to do something with her that tells her that you're loaded. Establish yourself as a big shot. How about you take her to that new, hot club downtown. They have a waiting list that goes out two months, but I could get you in, no problem."

"I think being a prince of Asgard and a demi-god establishes him as a big shot," Bruce points out and Tony simply shrugs.

"Clueless," Natasha stares the two men down with a look of disappointment. "Thor, don't listen to those two. You'll be doomed before you even get started. Jane doesn't care if your a big shot or if you impress her. She just wants to get to know you."

"Can't go wrong with a good ol' fashioned dinner and a romantic walk in the park," Steve suggests.

"Boring," Tony pretends to snore.

"Back in my day," Steve frowns at Tony who just smirks cheekily at him. "Dating was courting and you courted to get to know a woman because you were interested in something more someday which means that you want to get to know her. Kind of hard to get to know a lady when you're shooting each other with paint or in a noisy club."

"Steve is right," Natasha agrees. "Those other options are great for down the road, but for a first date, you want to do something laid back and just spend time together. Besides, I talked with Jane and she doesn't seem like the paintball or clubbing type."

"Verily," Thor nods in agreement. "I do not think that Jane would enjoy shooting one another with paint, but I do want to do something that is special."

"We'll help you think of something, Thor," Bruce offers and the Avengers all agree.

* * *

><p>"I am full of the flies," Thor sighs while he paces in the kitchen.<p>

"You mean you have butterflies in your stomach?" Bruce laughs.

"Yes. Many butterflies." Thor is dressed for his date with Jane and he has about an hour before he needs to leave to pick her up. Clint took him out shopping because he told him that there was no way he could take Jane out on their first date dressed in his armor and red cape. They found Thor a nice pair of black slacks and a sharp looking steel grey colored button down shirt. Natasha helped do his hair and trimmed up his beard so he was looking his best for the special night. Tony arranged for a nice car and a driver for their date and he also pulled some strings for the end of their date for a fantastic idea that Steve had come up with. Bruce is going over a few last minute things with Thor in the kitchen as he paces.

"You'll be fine," Bruce assures the nervous demi-god. "Now tell me the things that we went over that you're not going to do tonight."

"I will not eat with my hands," Thor grumbles - he's not very happy about that one. "We are on Midgard, not Asgard, and on Midgard we use forks."

"Good. What else?" Bruce nods in approval.

"I will not smash any cups or dishes if I enjoy the food," Thor repeats what Bruce had told him.

"And the last one?" Bruce waits for Thor to remember the last thing they went over.

"I will not speak of war or the glory of battle," Thor frowns. "But my best stories are of war and the glory of battle."

"No, Thor," Bruce points his finger at him and Thor is on the edge of pouting. "Battle stories are not appropriate first date conversation topics."

"Very well," Thor sighs.

"Now what are the things you _are_ going to do tonight?"

"I shall ask her questions about herself," Thor lists off. "I shall open doors and pull her chair out for her before she sits and I shall be a gentleman."

"Perfect," Bruce smiles. "I think you're ready."

* * *

><p>"He really just asked you out?" Darcy asks when she opens the fridge in their small kitchen to fish out a bottle of pop.<p>

"Yeah," Jane laughs in disbelief. "I think his friends gave him some encouragement, but he just asked me and I said yes."

"It's about time," Darcy snorts. "I've been waiting for you guys to hook up for a long time now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Jane. It's painfully obvious you're into him. Maybe now that you've got a boyfriend I can actually have a life."

"What's my relationship status got to do with your ability to have a life, Darcy?" Jane questions her friend with a little offense in her voice.

"Seriously Jane? You need me. You would be so lonely without me," Darcy explains and Jane snorts in derision before Darcy continues. "But now that you have Thor to keep you '_company,'" _Darcy wiggles her brows in a suggestive manner and Jane is thoroughly horrified.

"Darcy!" she shouts.

"What? He's hot, Jane. You'd have to be a robot to think he's not attractive," Darcy flops on the couch with her pop and pauses for a moment. "No, I take that back. Even a robot would still think he's hot."

"There will be no keeping each other 'company' tonight," Jane throws up air quotations and frowns at Darcy.

"It's your loss, Jane," Darcy shrugs. "Just do yourself a favor tonight and try to be a little interesting. No space talk."

"Why not? Space is fascinating," Jane can't imagine someone not wanting to talk about science and space.

"He's _from_ space, Jane," Darcy rolls her eyes. "He doesn't want to talk about space."

"He's not 'from space,'" Jane points out. "He's from Asgard. There's a difference."

"Whatever," Darcy waves her hand. "Just don't talk about space all night. Try to be interesting."

Jane rolls her eyes at Darcy and leaves to get ready.

* * *

><p>Thor rides in the back of the car that Tony let him use to pick up Jane and he's fidgeting and nervous. He smooths out his shirt and pants while the driver pulls up to the front door of Jane's apartment building and pulls to a stop. The nervous demi-god exits the car and walks up to the front door and knocks. Jane opens the door and Thor is instantly dumbfounded. Jane's hair is pulled up into a sophisticated up-do and her dress is a navy cocktail dress that Darcy loaned her. She had insisted Jane wear something that wasn't 'frumpy' and Jane had insisted that she not look 'easy' so they compromised on the very flattering, but not over the top, dress.<p>

"Jane," he stutters. "You look…you look…"

"Ridiculous?" Jane winces.

"No," Thor quickly answers. "You look radiant."

"Really?" Jane smiles. "Thank you, Thor."

"Hey Thor," Darcy greets from inside the house.

"Hello Darcy," Thor nods to her.

"So you finally worked up the nerve to ask Jane out, huh?"

"Darcy!" Jane shoots her a look.

"Yes," Thor laughs. "It has been too long and I am most excited to take Jane out tonight."

"Alright," Jane starts to push Darcy back into the house. "I think it's time for us to go, Thor."

"Okay, okay, okay!" Darcy holds her hands up and starts to close the door. "Just make sure you two love birds don't do anything too crazy. Be sure you have her back before her curfew." Jane grabs the door handle and shuts the door, but not before Darcy gets one more word in. "Who am I kidding? Stay out as late as you want you crazy kids! Don't be shy, Thor!"

"Stop taking, Darcy," Jane shouts before she turns to Thor and blushes as she composes herself. "Sorry about that."

"No need to apologize," Thor laughs. "I enjoy your friends very much, Jane."

Thor offers up his arm and Jane tucks her arm in his and he leads her down to the awaiting car. He opens the door for her and she slips into the back seat while Thor closes the door and runs around to the other side.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Jane asks when Thor enters the car.

"I have various activities planned for us tonight," Thor assures her with a grin.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" Jane smiles back at Thor.

"I am afraid not," Thor shakes his head.

The two of them ride in the backseat while the driver takes them to their first stop.

"The park?" Jane is a little confused when Thor opens her car door.

"Yes," Thor smiles and holds his hand out to Jane "I thought it would be nice to go for a walk before dinner."

Jane takes his hand and they stroll down the pathway together. The park is quiet and the lights along the path are beginning to light as the sun goes down.

"It's too bad that we can't see the stars tonight. With all of the light pollution, we're lucky we can see the moon," Jane comments and Thor grins.

"So you're officially living at the Tower?" Jane asks to start up a conversation.

"Yes. I enjoy living with my fellow Avengers. It has been most excellent. We just recently defeated a most formidable villain the other day…" Thor starts, but catches himself when Bruce's voice echoes through his head reminding him to go easy on the battle stories. He quickly changes the subject. "How has your research been going with Darcy and Erik?"

"Great. Really great. We're on the verge of a breakthrough in our research on Andromeda's stellar disk and…." Jane pauses.

"What is wrong, Jane?" Thor asks when her story stops.

"Darcy told me that I should go easy on the 'space talk.'" Jane scrunches her nose and Thor laughs. "What's so funny?"

"Bruce told me I should not speak of my stories of great battles," Thor admits.

"I love your battle stories," Jane smiles.

"Verily?" Thor asks. "I enjoy your tales of your space research as well."

"Really? You're not just saying that?" Jane lights up a little.

"Nay," Thor answers sincerely. "You are passionate about science and I enjoy listening to you talk about it." Jane smiles and tucks her arm around Thor's.

The two of them continue walking along the peaceful pathway and chat about the usual things you chat about on a first date: family, likes and dislikes, dreams and goals. The night is quiet and going well until Jane notices something in a tree that they pass by.

"What's that?" Jane asks as she walks up to the tree to inspect it. "Oh, Thor. There's a cat stuck in the tree."

"Where?" Thor asks and comes along side Jane and searches the branches.

"Right there," Jane points up to a very high branch where a little black and white cat sits perched up in the branches.

"He will come down when he wishes, will he not?" Thor asks.

"I think he's stuck," Jane frowns as the cat meows from the tree. "Think you can get him down?"

"I believe I could reach him," Thor studies the tree to see if he can find a way up, not wanting to disappoint Jane.

The demi-god jumps and grabs a branch and pulls himself up. He skillfully makes his way from branch to branch. The first half of the climb was easy, but the higher he gets, the thinner the branches are. A few of them snap under his considerable weight, but the trapped cat is still out of his reach. The fuzzy creature peers down at him as he carefully navigates the tree.

"I believe I am almost there," Thor reports down to Jane.

"Be careful, Thor," Jane pleads as she watches from the ground.

"Come, my feline friend," Thor holds out his hand to the cat and he simply stares at him. "I am here to rescue you. It appears as though he does not wish to be rescued," Thor calls down. "He will not come to me."

"Maybe he's scared," Jane suggests. "You might have to pick him up."

The cat stares indifferently as Thor struggles to climb up the last few branches. "He does not appear to be frightened," Thor grunts before he grabs onto a branch and it snaps in his hand. He tumbles down and lands on his back on the grass below.

"Thor!" Jane shouts and rushes over to him. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I am fine Jane," Thor groans from the ground. He is about to get up when the cat skitters down the tree and lands on his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Jane picks the cat up off of Thor and he rolls up off of the ground.

"He's so cute," Jane smiles at the little cat as he purrs in her arms.

"Mushy!" a little girl yells from across the park with her mother trailing behind her.

"Is this your cat?" Jane asks.

"Yes," the little girl nods. "This is my Mushy."

"We've been looking all over the park for her," the little girl's mother sighs in relief that they finally found their cat.

"Thank you for helping Mushy," the little girl thanks Thor and Jane.

The family leaves with their cat and Jane hugs Thor.

"What was that for?" Thor asks.

"For helping that cat and making that little girl so happy," Jane smiles.

They finish their walk and return to the car to take them to the next stop. The driver turns down a shady looking alleyway.

"What is this place?" Jane asks and Thor opens an old metal door that leads into the building from the back alley.

"You shall see," Thor grins and takes her down a dark hallway. They finally make it to a very large room with tall ceilings. Thor walks her down the stairs that are lined with rows of seats to a big, round stage in the middle. On the stage is a blanket and a picnic basket.

"Are we having a picnic?" Jane asks and Thor sits down on the blanket.

"Yes, I thought you would enjoy a picnic under the stars," Thor looks up to the ceiling and Jane is about to ask him how they will have a night sky indoors when the ceiling lights up with hundreds and hundreds of stars.

"This is the planetarium?" Jane's face lights up at the sight of the familiar constellations.

"A beautiful night sky full of stars just for you, Jane," Thor smiles and Jane blushes a little. Thor unpacks the food from the picnic basket and the two of them sit down to share a meal together.

After they finish eating they both lay on the soft picnic blanket and stair up at the night sky. Neither one of them are sure how much time goes by. After a while longer, Thor takes Jane home for the night.

"I had a really great time tonight, Thor," Jane whispers.

"I am glad, Jane," Thor whispers back. "I would be most honored if you would go out with me again."

"I would love to. How about tomorrow night?" Jane blurts out.

"Tomorrow night it is," Thor smirks.

"Goodnight, Thor," Jane smiles as she starts to close the door.

"Goonight, Jane," Thor nods.

He turns to walk back to the car before he feels a hand pull him back. Jane is there and she gives him a hesitant look before she pulls him close and kisses him.

"Sorry," Jane blushes.

"No need to be," Thor replies, completely caught off guard.

"Thank you, again, for a lovely night," Jane smiles. "Well,…goodnight, Thor."

"Goodnight, Jane," Thor nods again, still a little shocked.

Thor returns to the Tower and walks into the living area where the rest of the Avengers are waiting for him. They all turn and look at him instantly when he walks through the door.

"Well?" Tony waits for a play by play of the night.

"She loved the planetarium," Thor reports.

"Told you," Steve gloats uncharacteristically to Tony.

"It was a most amazing night," Thor sighs.

"That's all the info we get?" Clint asks.

"We are going to go out again tomorrow," Thor replies to try to satisfy his teammates need for details without giving out too many details.

"Tomorrow? That was fast," Tony is surprised.

"YOLO," Thor winks at them and leaves them to turn in for the night.

.


End file.
